I know I'm supposed to carry on my horror story accident, or be writing my memoirs of days gone by, and I'll get to all that eventually. If shit would stop happening once in awhile, I'd have room in my head to write about other stuff. But shit just keeps on happening...
My mom, bless her heart, bought me a wheelchair van. I had an old taxi van for awhile, but it was an 8 year old TAXI van (ie: run to death) and it didn't last long. My poor mom threw money out the window with that, but at least it was cheap and I got a few good rides out of it. I was devastated when it died and the mechanic said it would cost THOUSANDS to fix (so much new stuff was needed, from battery to engine to springs to oil pan.. ) so my mom and stepdad went on the hunt for another one right away. My mom said she had some money set aside for inheritance, but figured I'd rather want it now in the form of a van, than after she died. Since I have every intention of dying first, I thought that was a good plan!
So they found one via my uncle in Winnipeg. They said it would be cheaper to ship this one out here than get one in Calgary. It was a 2006 Ford E150, I believe. Full sized van with a lift in the back. I expected it would have a raised roof, but they said no, it wasn't needed. This thing is "huge". My uncle measured it. My stepdad measured it again once it arrived. No problem, they said. Me and my (higher than average because of the Tilt feature) wheelchair would fit, no problem.
You know where I'm going with this, right?
So Thalia was going to take me out in it. She had filled it with gas recently ($120, THANK YOU VERY MUCH) and said it drove like a dream, so much better than the other one. Although, she didn't want to break the news to me that there was no way I'd fit. We'd at least give it a go.
So this happened...
And that just made my day.
I feel so bad for my mom. I hope she can get her money back in a sale, if it's true that they got such a great deal. I want to rent it out to people who need it to move something heavy, to get my gas money back! Thalia said I need to advertise "Chick with a Van and Lift" and she'll drive it.
That was a sad, distressing weekend for all involved.
And then last night, guess what happened to me? This is TMI for the faint of heart, you've been warned. I was in MAJOR pain in my bladder/urethra area. Screaming, actually. Writhing around, wondering what the hell was going on. Christina (another caregiver, who worked last night) gave me the Pyridium I asked for, but didn't know what to do. Once the Pyridium kicked in, the pain stopped. She put me to bed, and left. Then, at 3:30 am, I rolled on my back to rearrange/drain my catheter/tubing as I always have to do in the middle of the night, as it gets uncomfortable. Then, THEN, my catheter popped out and rolled off my bed. I was stunned. It just came right out of me, easy peasy. I felt "down there", as I was completely stunned. I could tell my bed was wet and I needed to PEE but I can't do very much without a catheter. Plus, you know, there's that whole not-being-able-to-get-out-of-bed thing.
I hated to do it, but I had to. I texted Thalia (she's my only caregiver that knows how to change my catheter, which is normally done monthly) and freaked out. She came right over (I thank God for her everyday) and showed me the catheter that had fallen out. THE BALLOON WAS STILL INFLATED. So that pain I'd been in earlier? Was the balloon making its way down my urethra. THE INFLATED BALLOON. COMING OUT OF MY URETHRA. Thalia used to work in a hospital, and said NOTHING scared the nurses and staff more than if that was to happen. Nothing gave them the heebee jeebees more than the thought of that. Sometimes a person strung out on dope in the ER would pull theirs out *shiver*. And I lived through that. Today, I'm in a lot of pain. I figure that's going to take a few days to heal. My urethra has been through hell, I must say. If that little balloon can come out of my URETHRA, I imagine I COULD GIVE BIRTH. That's a bigger hole!
Hey, Serena Ryder is not performing at the Super Bowl on Sunday, but her song "Stompa" is. That reminded me that I first saw her about 10 years ago! Go Serena x
