Morning came, and I quickly learned more Rules of the shelter. I explained a lot of them in my earlier entry, and now I would be putting them into practice. Breakfast was cereal and/or toast, and was eaten, like all meals, in the main house kitchen. It was during my first morning that I met Bob, my first friend there. He was gay, and staying at CH because his parents had kicked him out for it. To be honest, in the mid-80's, I think many gay people were still closeted. I was wondering about this the other day - when did I first learn what "gay" was? I don't remember it ever being an issue, thankfully. I'm sure several people I knew in school were gay, but definitely closeted in that white, rich, conservative area I lived in during the 70's/80's. But my parents didn't raise me to judge people, which is good. I'm very liberal in my thinking today, and have always had a mind of my own, which didn't include thinking gay was wrong or anything.
Anyway, I digress. So I met Bob, and together we mopped the kitchen floor after breakfast. Everyone had to pitch in with chores. It was the weekend, so no one had to be anywhere. Normally, after breakfast the place empties out by 9:00 as everyone goes to work, school, or job hunting. Or panhandling on the street, as I soon learned many of them did, instead of looking for jobs like they were supposed to! The main house was set up with the big dining room, two bathrooms, and two living room areas with televisions and sofas. There was a staff table by the washrooms and a locked office area, and a room with a telephone you could ask to use. No one could call you there, just leave a message as the staff were not allowed to say whether or not you were staying there. The front entrance was always manned by a staff member to buzz people in; the front door was unlocked but there was a locked glass door, so they could see you to buzz you in, or ask visitors to wait. Many kids were there hiding from pimps or certain people, so no one was told whether or not you were there. Behind the entrance was the staircase up to the sleeping quarters, laundry, and showers.
I was the new girl, and cute, blonde, blue-eyed, big boobed blah blah blah, so I got a lot of attention from the guys there. And I was nice, funny and self-deprecating, so the girls didn't hold it against me. In fact, it was the first time in my life I actually felt POPULAR. All the boys liked me, all the girls wanted to be me. Even the girls that gave me dirty looks at first, warmed up to me very fast.
There was this one guy, Steve, who was gorgeous. I'll admit most of the guys there looked like they dropped out of a Wayne's World skit, but this guy was different. He was tall and thin, had dyed blonde punky spiked hair, pointy shoes, long black trench coat - you know the type. Very cool in 1986. He was staying at the intake house where the overflow of boys went, and came over to the main house for supper, an hour after we ate. He was so good looking and intriguing, I sat down beside him and we started chatting. As we talked, I swear every other guy came up to him and whispered in his ear that they were going to kill him, beat the crap out of him, and they'd "get him when he was walking back to the intake house". He was NOT "their" type of guy. He tried to shake it off like it was nothing, but I could tell he was terrified. I took it upon myself to talk to the staff, and ask that someone walked back with him. It took a few days, but he was fast-tracked over to the main house when a boy's room opened up, and I talked to all the guys to tell them "Steve is cool, leave him alone..." And they LISTENED because I SAID IT and they LIKED ME. I SWEAR. Steve and I became very good friends. Bob was jealous of our friendship, but learned to like him as well.
So, my popularity there was no question. However, it didn't stop the girls from stealing my stuff. It was usually girls who were just there for one night before they left or got kicked out (once they realized it wasn't a free ride). We put our dirty clothes in the laundry room, and the overnight staff would wash and fold it and put it in piles for us to pick up in the morning. We didn't have a choice, so many of my clothes were stolen that way. Also hair products - I had great hair and brought a curling iron and products with me, but they were taken. All the girls shared one big bath/shower room (think Orange Is the New Black) so all you had to do was look away for a second and it was gone. Do not bring ANYTHING nice to a shelter!
I didn't really have a plan while I was there - the find a job/place to live plan - as I was honest with them, that I worked at the news stand and was leaving town on December 27, so I just needed a place to stay for a couple weeks. They were kind enough to let me stay there, as long as I followed all the rules and everything. My popularity stemmed to the staff as well, as they all liked me, too. I was pleasant and nice. They were actually filming a documentary while I was there, and since I didn't have a heartbreaking story, I just watched as they interviewed everyone else. "My mother was a prostitute, my father was her pimp, I lived from foster home to foster home, I was abused/molested, my foster father raped and impregnated me, my baby died, my baby was fathered by a pimp, I'm currently pregnant by my father..." Stories like that, one after the other. It was unbelievable. That's why my fresh, innocent face was so liked by the staff, and my kind heart was so liked by the other girls. I didn't fit in there, but somehow I was their leader.
I wasn't sleeping on the floor for long, as the turnover could be pretty high there. So I was given a bedroom to sleep in and keep my things in pretty quick. (Floor sleepers were given a locker to keep personal things in). One floor was girls, one floor was boys. The bedroom doors were locked by 8:30 am and opened once in the afternoon if you needed something, and then not again until bedtime. There were meetings every night in the main room, where you could air your grievances, but rules are rules so it's not like things changed. Sometimes the meetings were more like what I imagine AA meetings would be like - sharing stories and making announcements (like the filming of the documentary).
Steve told me that he had plenty of places he could be staying, but they didn't force him out of bed and out the door with three meals/day and a room to sleep in at night. And subway tokens to get to/from work! He needed the routine that CH provided, but "if you ever need a place to stay, I can help you out". (I'd take him up on that soon). CH was pretty good to you, if you were good to them. I had no trouble following their rules, so it wasn't an issue for me. Other kids had to leave for being drunk or high, lipping off staff, breaking curfew, etc.
I was there for Christmas, and Bob and I were chosen to put together gift bags for all the residents. I guess the gifts were donated, and included things like make-up, cassette tapes, nightgowns and socks. This is where Bob's jealousy towards Steve and my friendship really played out, as he put together my gift bag and gave me the WORST stuff. I only remember the horribly ugly flannel nightgown I received, but I remember laughing as I went through it and Bob apologizing lol
On Christmas Eve we opened boxes of donated candy. It was awesome. I also received a box from my family, and since I was the only person receiving anything from my family, everyone crowded around me as I opened it. Mom used individually wrapped maxi pads as stuffing for the box, so THAT was a good laugh for everyone. I don't remember what was in it besides a sweater, and a card with a money order for $100. This would be my trip money! And since it was Christmas Eve, there was no bank open before I left the morning of the 27th, so I had to use an ATM to get $100 cash and head to the U.S. with Canadian money.
The morning of the 27th my friend Paula met me, and we headed down to Union Station to catch our train heading to California. That adventure is written in the "What?! It's not like anyone is reading" entry!
Next I'll write about how I used Steve's connections to stay somewhere upon my return, and back to Covenant House soon after!
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